Trading Up

• Padres: 4
• Phillies: 9
• Sold: 6 cases Bud Light

I had no idea why Santa Hats and Holiday music was all over the stadium until I found out that MLB's partnering with the Salvation Army in a "Christmas in July" toy drive. It went a long way toward explaining why one guy behind home plate was trying his best to get on TV with a bright orange sign that read "All I Want for Christmas in July is a Halladay." He was talking about ace pitcher Matt Halladay, who the Blue Jays have gone through the trouble of developing and are now trading. And though this blog is about everything except the game, here's my theory on how the Beerman is involved in making this trade a potentiality.

Halladay is maybe the best pitcher in baseball right now, which means he'll be expensive, and the Phillies are in the running because (1) they're contenders, and nothing succeeds like success, and (2) they have the money to get him, and nothing makes money like a winning team. The money comes from the fans, and their ticket is just a starter for getting to the rest of the money in their pockets. Plenty of the nosebleeds I spend my time selling to go for as much as $16 per ass, which is only marginally more than the $13.50 a pair of beers will cost them (no wonder they don't want to tip). That doesn't count the $4 water, the $4.50 Frozen Lemonade, their $4.25 soda, their $5 foam finger, a $10 program, and their $15 Phillie Phantic doll. What a racket I'm a cog in!

Anyway, this money having been siphoned out of the fan's pocket, it will after divvying between contractor, subcontractor, maintenance, overhead, etc. end up in the Phillies coffers. The team is a well-lubed, clockwork machine for acquiring this money, and all the promotions and free bobblehead dolls and free T-shirts, and "Italian Heritage Nights" (tomorrow) and Turkey Hill ice cream adverts and buckets of beer being toted to the upper reaches are part of this magnificent machine of many parts. And since we sell loads and loads of beer (lots more than at anemic, over-regulated Camden, and desolate, forlorn Nationals Park), this is no small part of getting the Phillies their cash, enough to be in the running to sign a stud like Halladay, and perpetuate the cycle of success the teams appears to be on. Since I've never really vended for a team so successful, I've never felt part of a financial ecosystem that could entertain so high profile a trade.

So if the Phillies sign Halladay, credit the Phillies for wanting to win, but also your friendly vendor here for helping in his small way to make it possible.